A Brief Open Letter to ESPN

Dear ESPN:

I appreciate that, as the unquestioned Worldwide Leader in sports news and entertainment, you have to cover the most relevant and interesting sports-related information of the day. Really, I do. I understand the Tim Tebow phenomenon, of blanket coverage for a mediocre rookie quarterback, and I understand the attention given to the NFL Draft, Yankees and Red Sox baseball, and Duke and Lakers basketball.

(I don’t understand the hours of unending coverage of the World Series of Poker, but that’s for another letter.)

I write, quite simply, to beg. I beg you to not torment the sports-loving world with two weeks of nonstop coverage of Tom Brady. I know it’s your self-proclaimed Year of the Quarterback, and with Peyton Manning out since early on you’ve had nothing else to fixate on but the divinely-inspired Tebow and the sensational Cam Newton, but please.

This is an unfounded assertion, but I think I’m accurate in saying that non-Patriots fans, like myself, cannot stand Tom Brady. We do respect him. We respect his accomplishments, his poise under pressure, and his penchant for winning championships.

We respect Brady because we know Brady. We do not need lengthy interviews with the Long-Haired One or hundreds of replays of the Tuck Rule Game. We do not need family retrospectives and grainy pictures of a three-year-old Tom with a Nerf football. We do not need to hear Merril Hoge say, over and over again, “Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the National… Football… League!”

So please. Run features on Vince Wilfork, who played the best game of his already-illustrious career against the Ravens on Sunday. Write up the stories of Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski. Hell, even talk about the Little People That Could – Wes Welker, Julian Edelman, and Danny Woodhead – although I’m pretty sure I saw that feature already.

Just don’t cram fifteen days of Tom Brady down our throats. We’re begging you.

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One thought on “A Brief Open Letter to ESPN

  1. I liked the one where Wes Welker dressed up as a Modell’s employee and tried to get people to buy his jersey but no one wanted to.

    I know that wasn’t ESPN but I would watch stuff like that.

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